


misogynist bops for slutty lesbians

by itsanizzyb



Category: Ghostbusters (2016), Ghostbusters - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Coming Out, Coming Out, Drinking Games, F/F, Monopoly (Board Game), brief mention of vomiting, strip monopoly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:15:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28282281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsanizzyb/pseuds/itsanizzyb
Summary: "Patty! My dear, do you really think I would ever do something irresponsible? Misjudged?""Yes. Dear god, yes.""I was just thinking we could have a board games night.""Oh… okay. Just a regular board games night? No shenanigans? No… explosions?" Inexplicably, Patty casts her eye to Erin as she emphasises shenanigans."I mean, I thought we could also imbibe some liquor," Holtz says, grinning.Patty finally breaks into a matching grin. "All right! Now we're talking. But seriously, no explosions?""I'm kinda stuck on… something… I'm working on, and I want to let loose a bit, see if it'll help me figure it out." She bounces over to Erin's desk as she says this, reaching over to tuck a stray strand of hair behind Erin's ear."Stuck on what, exactly?" Patty mutters.
Relationships: Erin Gilbert/Jillian Holtzmann
Comments: 7
Kudos: 40





	misogynist bops for slutty lesbians

Erin detects the faint strains of Jason Derulo floating down the stairs about five seconds before Holtz swings down the firepole, dangling her boombox from one arm and interrupting everyone else's workflows.

"Nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope." Patty takes one look at the manic grin on Holtzmann's face, and says, "No way. Whatever this is, no."

"Patty! My dear, do you really think I would _ever_ do something _irresponsible_? _Misjudged_?"

Holtzmann is climbing up on Abby's desk and opening the deep cupboard on the wall above it as she says this. She teeters precariously as she flails inside the cupboard for a second.

"Yes. Dear god, yes," Patty says emphatically.

Erin looks up with mild interest as Holtzmann pulls out a sleeping bag from the cupboard and tosses it onto the floor, where it unfurls across the floorboards. A second one lands on top of it with a dull _thunk_.

 _What is Holtzmann doing_? Erin sighs and puts her pencil down carefully perpendicular to her laptop.

Her question is immediately answered as Holtz jumps down from Abby's desk with a couple of blankets in her arms. "I was just thinking we could have a board games night," she says, sticking out her bottom lip at Patty, making an exaggerated puppy dog face.

"Oh… okay." Patty looks suspicious for a moment. "Just a regular board games night? No shenanigans? No… explosions?" Inexplicably, Patty casts her eye to Erin as she emphasises _shenanigans_. Erin looks down, pretending not to understand what she means.

"I mean, I thought we could also imbibe some liquor," Holtz says, grinning.

Patty finally breaks into a matching grin. "All right! Now we're talking." She turns stern for a moment. "But seriously, no explosions?"

Holtz shakes her head. "Really. I'm kinda stuck on… something… I'm working on, and I want to let loose a bit, see if it'll help me figure it out." She bounces over to Erin's desk as she says this, reaching over to tuck a stray strand of hair behind Erin's ear.

"Stuck on _what_ , exactly?" Patty mutters.

Ignoring this comment with a blinding grin, Holtz says, "Whaddya say, Gilbert?"

Erin ducks her head. She's tired, but the idea of hanging out with her friends, getting a bit drunk, playing some games, isn't the worst thing she's ever heard.

"I could do with a bit of relaxing!" she agrees. "But I can help you with whatever it is you're stuck on. Tomorrow. If you need," she says, blushing as Holtz nods enthusiastically.

"I'm _sure_ you can," Patty says voice heavy with innuendo, but before Erin can ask what she means, Abby pushes open the front door and stamps off her boots.

"Okay, I got… chocolate milkshakes, pepperoni pizza, egg rolls, sushi, and fried rice," she says, unloading a stack of takeout containers onto the bench.

Patty makes a face at the random assortment of food, but tucks her book away into her desk and closes her laptop down for the night.

"You up for some drunken board games tonight, Abby?" Holtz asks, dropping the blankets at Erin's feet and dashing over to help Abby unload. She scoops up a chocolate milkshake and immediately starts slurping at it.

"Really?" Abby raises her eyebrows at Holtz, then laughs at Holtz's over-the-top reaction: she punches the air, spills her milkshake on the ground, and knocks the last box of egg rolls out of Abby's hands all in one gesture.

Erin just laughs, closing down her computer and gathering up the blankets in her arms.

"Holtzmann, how old are you?" Patty demands as _I Just Had Sex_ by the Lonely Island starts playing.

Holtz just flashes her a chaotic smile as Abby growls at her. "Clean that up. Holtz. Clean it up." She's pointing down at the floor with a no-nonsense look about her.

Holtz shrugs, but goes into the kitchen and comes back with a bottle of rum and a handful of paper towels.

Erin drops the blankets on the couch and goes to the kitchen for cutlery and glasses.

Holtz whirls into the kitchen with a handful of broken-crumbed egg rolls and greasy paper towels. She dumps it all in the bin, brushing up against Erin as Erin rinses some forks in the sink.

"Sorry," Holtz says breezily, cupping a hand briefly to Erin's waist. Erin stills, attention immediately hyper-focused on Holtz's touch, but the younger woman is already gone. Erin heaves out a sigh, clattering the forks onto the counter, and turning to grab a bottle of wine and glasses instead.

She takes these to the living room, tossing herself onto the couch with a muffled groan. Holtz is perched across from her, and she takes the rum bottle with an evil grin and starts glugging it into the milkshake.

"Oh god, Holtz, don't," Erin says laughingly, holding a hand up. "That's disgusting."

"It's good," Holtz defends herself, swirling it with her straw and slurping it again.

Erin throws her hands up and pours herself a glass of Moscato instead of arguing. Patty gestures for Erin to pour her one too, crunching an egg roll with gusto.

"Here," Erin says, passing her the unnervingly full glass.

Holtz is engrossed in sipping her alcoholic milkshake in between bites of pizza.

Erin just stifles a laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. "Hey, Holtz, I think you've forgotten something important." She kicks her sneakers off and tucks her feet up under her, leaning back on the couch with a sigh.

"Wha-at?" Holtz says around the incessant slurping.

"Oh, Jesus, stop it," Erin says, swatting her on the shoulder. "I don't think we _own any board games_. Which might pose a problem in your grand plans."

"Ah, Erin, Erin, Erin. _Erin_." Holtz puts down her milkshake and leans forward, rubbing her hands together.

Erin doesn't like this turn of events. Holtz has the voice that she uses when she's about to argue with Erin about whether the machine she's building is possible.

Erin's _always_ wrong in that scenario.

"Okay, okay," she holds up a hand to stop whatever smart-ass takedown Holtz is about to deliver. "I'll change the question. _What_ board games do we have?"

"Only one. The most magnificent, exciting, lengthy-" Holtz stands up and sweeps her hands from side to side as she speaks.

"It's Monopoly, isn't it?" Patty interrupts her.

Holtz drops her hands and huffs. "Yep." She burrows under Abby's desk for a second, producing the aforementioned board game, and begins to lay it out.

Erin groans when she sees that Holtzmann is actually serious. "No, Holtz, come on… Can't we just watch a movie? Braid each other's hair? Literally _anything_ else?"

"I'll braid _your_ hair, Gilbert," Holtz says, waggling her eyebrows as she lays out the title cards with quick, deliberate movements.

"I don't- what does that even _mean_?" Erin sputters. Patty snorts and mutters something that Erin doesn't catch.

Erin's getting pretty irritated by Patty's side-eyeing her, but she just slugs some more wine instead of saying anything.

Abby reaches over and picks up the baggie of counters. She picks out the little dog and passes it to Erin, who shakes out the boot.

Holtz is busy counting out the money, and while she does that, Erin brings the takeout containers over and dots them about the Monopoly board so they can eat.

"Mmm!" Abby immediately claims two slices of pizza face-down on one another and starts eating.

There's blessed silence while they eat. Erin sips her Moscato a bit too fast. She's hardly a gracious loser, and Holtz is giving off manic energy beyond even her norm tonight, and this is all making her anxious.

Before Erin can get too deep into her thoughts, Holtz interrupts. "Okay." She slurps her milkshake for effect, then bangs her fist on the table. "So, we all get to pick a house rule to play."

Patty immediately opens her mouth to argue, and Holtz forestalls her protests. "Within reason."

"Reasonable for you ain't reasonable for me, baby," she points out.

"If it's that bad, we'll vote," Abby intervenes, rolling her eyes.

"Erin, ladies first," Holtz says, bowing.

"Free parking," Erin says immediately.

"That's barely a house rule," Holtz complains. "But I'll allow it."

Patty hums for a moment, then says, "$400 for landing on Go? Is that a house rule or a real rule?"

"Whatever, I'll allow it," Holtz says again. She's bouncing up and down, flipping her piece over and over in her hand.

"I can see you're just _dying_ to tell us your one," Erin laughs.

"Strip Monopoly! At any time, you can choose to forfeit an item of clothing for $500 from the bank."

"And Erin, in particular, can forfeit her clothing, right?" Patty says, snickering.

Holtz has the good grace to blush, and Erin exhales sharply for a moment before she gets her footing back. Ignoring Patty, she says, "It should be graded. Like $100 for a sock and $700 for a shirt."

"I would definitely pay $700 to see you take off your shirt," Holtz deadpans.

"That's not what I- okay, whatever," Erin sighs, throwing up her hands and shaking her head.

"I can't think of any more house rules," Abby says. "And I don't want to see any nipples tonight, okay?"

Holtzmann shrugs in a way that probably means, _I'm not promising anything_.

Ever the responsible one, Abby puts the leftovers in the fridge and then returns. She places her dog token on the starting square. Erin scoots to the edge of the couch and puts her token down, accepting the wad of money that Holtz hands her.

The look Holtz gives her as their pinkies brush makes her shiver and she looks away under the pretence of counting her money.

"Rock, paper, scissors for first go?" Abby suggests.

"Youngest goes first," Holtz argues.

"Shut up, Holtz. You've got us playing Monopoly, just pick your battles," Patty says, reaching over to top up her wine glass and holding out a fist to rock-paper-scissors against Holtz.

Abby and Erin go against each other. Erin, surprisingly, wins. Holtz grumbles, but she wins anyway.

Erin and Holtz shake their fists, and Erin is so distracted by the way that Holtz licks her lips as she counts out the beats that she forgets to actually choose an option and defaults to rock. Holtz beats her with a paper and reaches over to cover her hand. Erin feels her heart stutter as Holtz pulls away and grins at them all.

"I get to go first anyway!" she crows.

Erin takes another considerable sip of wine.

Holtz buys one of the light blue properties, and they proceed clockwise around the table. They all get a property. It's pretty dull; the only interesting thing is Holtzmann's frankly manic playlist.

As Holtz takes her fifth turn, the boombox goes quiet for a second, then the beginning notes of a song Erin doesn't recognise begins to play. She jumps up with an indistinct yell, nearly knocking her milkshake over for the millionth time. Erin reaches over and catches it just in time.

Holtz ignores the near-accident – a fairly common occurrence – and leaps up onto the couch.

"Holtz, finish your goddamn turn," Abby yells at her, tossing her hands in the air.

"It's not my fault that my turn is on the most banging part of the song," Holtz yells back, before bursting into rap.

Erin groans.

Patty growls at Holtz, but she ignores it, swinging her hips from side to side in a way that _does things_ to Erin and yells, "So many girls in here! Where do I begin?"

Erin puts her head in her hands, stifling her laughter. Holtzmann is uniquely ridiculous.

Erin glances at Abby, and instead of laughing like the others, she's staring at Holtzmann pensively. Erin crinkles her eyebrows at Abby, and Abby shakes her head briefly. _Later_.

"Hey, Holtz, what's the playlist called?" Abby asks as Holtz pauses her dance to chug more milkshake.

Erin grins. Holtz's playlist titles are infamous for being ridiculous, pretentious, and long.

" _Misogynist bops for slutty lesbians_." Holtz finally gets off the couch and sits on the floor next to the coffee table, counting out the spaces for her turn.

Erin pauses for a second, then her mouth drops open. "What? You're a _lesbian_?"

" _What_?" Holtz spins to face her, expression mirroring Erin's. "How in the fucking _hell_ did you miss that?"

Erin holds it in for about three seconds, watching Holtz's utter confusion, before she bursts out laughing. "Oh my god, I'm fucking with you."

Abby and Patty are nearly crying with laughter. Patty has to put her wine glass down so she doesn't spill it.

Holtz bats Erin's shoulder, grinning. "You got me."

The wine unbuttoning her a little, Erin says, "So, do you play this for all the girls?" before she really thinks about what that sounds like. Thankfully, Abby and Patty keep a lid on their natural inclination to mock her this time. She still wishes she could take it back.

Holtz tilts her head. "You're not all girls, Erin Gilbert," and with that, she spins around and skips ahead to a song that Erin vaguely recognises from her one clubbing experience with the faculty at Columbia.

"Okay, this is a bop," Patty admits. She nods her head in time with the music and then rolls the dice for her turn.

They continue playing around the board a few times. Most of the properties are gone – Abby has the pinks, Patty the reds, and Holtz has Park Place, the railroads, and Boardwalk is still up for grabs. Erin has managed to miss getting any full sets, which has crippled her rent-making ability. As she lands on Park Place for the second time, she pouts at Holtzmann, hoping she'll let her off the rent. Holtz smirks and shakes her head. Erin sighs, counting out $35.

By this time, she's starting to get a feel for the playlist, and she's also getting pleasantly tipsy. She rocks her head back and forth in time to the music. Holtzmann takes her turn, landing on Chance, then stumbles to her feet and proceeds to rap – "Tell your boyfriend if he says he's got beef, that I'm a vegetarian and I ain't _fucking SCARED_ of him."

Erin winces at her volume, and Holtz continues dancing wildly, making eye contact a little more than Erin thinks is strictly necessary. She's beginning to feel a little out of control, a little unbuttoned, a little more attracted to Holtzmann than she's entirely comfortable with – or would be if she was sober. But she's not, and she doesn't have to think too hard about it right now. So she doesn't.

Holtz jumps down and slots in next to Erin after she's done with the verse. Erin ducks her head and smiles at Holtz as she bumps Erin with her shoulder, enjoying the closeness in a way that she doesn't usually, because she's _usually_ too busy overthinking every fucking move Holtz makes on her. Erin doesn't miss the look Abby and Patty share as Patty rolls doubles.

When she hands the dice to Erin, she rolls snake eyes. Erin tamps down her yell, waiting for Holtz to count ahead.

"Drink," slurs Holtz, waving her milkshake container around.

Erin doesn't protest. She takes a big sip, savouring it, waiting for Holtz to catch up with what just happened. She hops herself two squares in time with the music.

Abby and Patty are both grinning widely at this turn of events.

Holtz realises what Erin's landed on. And then she starts yelling. "Oh shit! Oh, fuck! No fucking way!"

Erin grins at Holtz, unrepentant, as Holtz pouts back at her. She hands over the $400 to take possession of Boardwalk, the most expensive property on the board, and the other half of Holtz's property group.

Holtzmann tosses herself backwards, scattering Erin's money behind her with a screech.

The other women groan in tandem as she yells disharmoniously for a good thirty seconds. Abby pinches her nose briefly. Then Holtz pulls herself upright and scrapes the notes back together. She finds the title card for Boardwalk in the haphazard pile of cards in the box and thrusts it towards Erin.

Erin rolls her eyes as she clings onto the title for a second too long. Holtz finally relinquishes it, and Erin waggles it back and forth slowly in front of her face. She's drunk enough that she has a hard time focussing on the card.

Holtz sticks her tongue out at her and then shrugs. "I'll get it off you," she singsongs. Erin laughs and shakes her head. 

"You'll get _what_ off her?" Abby and Patty say together, then high-five.

Holtz just snickers and winks around her milkshake straw. Erin's filter dies.

"You know, if I wasn't into Holtz, the way you guys keep hitting on me for her would be _kinda_ fucked up," Erin says, then her brain catches up with her mouth. "I mean- no- I'm not-"

Abby yells an indistinct sound of victory and punches the air, and Patty's laughing at Erin's bright red face, and Holtz is suddenly still and suddenly looking studiously anywhere but at Erin.

Hot tears gather in the corners of her eyes. She jumps up, walking briskly away from the other women.

She slams the bathroom door, harder than necessary, leaning her face against it, willing herself to _stop freaking out_.

It's not a big deal.

No one is going to have a problem with her being gay.

It's a _huge_ deal.

She mashes her face against the wooden door, listening to her breath hiss in and out to try and stop herself from panicking.

Her stomach is churning from all the wine, and she feels dizzy and out of control.

This isn't how she wanted to tell Holtz that she didn't _hate_ her flirting, and maybe wouldn't _hate_ taking it any further.

This isn't how she wanted to _come out_. She tilts her head back and takes a couple of deep breaths, counting up to ten and then back down again. She's only back to four when there's a knock near her head. She jumps, losing track.

"Erin?" Holtz's voice echoes against her ear. "Can we talk?"

Erin hesitates, then reaches down and unlocks the door. She draws the line at actually opening it. Holtz does it for her, gently pushing her out of the way, going straight to the toilet and sitting down on the lid.

Erin refuses to look at her. She's too pretty, and too earnest, and Erin's too embarrassed about what she just said.

Holtz sighs heavily, bracing her elbows on her knees. "I'm too drunk for this," she says, rubbing her forehead. She sucks in another breath, and Erin sneaks a look at her puffed out cheeks, before flickering her gaze back to the bathroom tiles. "Don't get me wrong," she starts, and Erin's heart dives into her shoes.

"It's okay," Erin says, swallowing hard. "I was, just, um, joking."

Holtz snorts at that. Erin prickles, wrapping her arms around herself.

"No, I'm doing this wrong. I mean." Holtz sighs for a long second, again. "I'm really happy that you… don't hate the idea of something happening with us."

Erin's breath stills.

"But I'm sorry about what just happened." Holtz huffs another long breath out, and Erin thinks tangentially that she must be getting light-headed from all the sighing. "What I'm trying to say is, it's totally fine if we just… go back to whatever we were doing before and see where it goes naturally. We can pretend tonight didn't happen."

Erin swallows again. Instead of saying anything, because she knows she'll start sobbing, she just slides down the bathroom door and puts her head in between her knees. It's not really about Holtz. She was reasonably confident that Holtzmann returned her interest, so now that that's been confirmed, it's not about Holtz at all.

There's a long beat of silence, then, "Oh, shit," Holtz says, and something in her tone makes Erin look up. "Did you just _come out_?"

Erin's silence speaks for itself.

"I'm so sorry," Holtz says, making her way onto the floor next to her. "I-"

"It's fine," Erin murmurs. "I just… I didn't…"

"I know," Holtz says softly, scuffing a thumb along the skirting board.

They sit in limbo for a beat, then Holtz lays her head on Erin's shoulder. Erin can feel the tension in her friend's body, the hesitancy to cross a line, and she appreciates it.

They sit together in silence for a few minutes before Erin dabs the tears off her cheeks. "'S'pose we'd better get back," she says.

Holtz slides away from her and her eyes flicker across Erin's face. "Okay," she says, serious. "You okay?"

Erin just nods, and Holtz tilts her head like she doesn't believe it, but she doesn't push the issue either, just unfolding herself from the floor and leaving the bathroom.

Erin trails Holtz by a few seconds, and by the time she gets to the living room, Abby and Patty are looking suitably chastened. Holtz pats the couch beside her and Erin sits down, not sure what else to do. The boombox is still pumping out music, but thankfully it's a little more peaceful than David Guetta now. Maybe the Monkees?

She fiddles with her hands, uncomfortable with the tension in the room.

"Alright, now, whose turn was it?" Holtz demands, rattling the dice purposefully.

Abby holds out her hand wordlessly, and Erin's not too wrapped up in herself to notice the way she scans Holtz's face curiously. 

Abby and Patty both play, then it's Holtz's turn.

"Erin. Erin. Erin."

"I'm right here, Holtz," Erin says stiffly. 

"Can I interest you in a trade?" Holtz is holding up a wad of cash and a yellow property.

Erin relaxes a modicum. "Nope," she grins. "And most of those are ones." She pokes at Holtz's wad of cash.

For the next twenty minutes, Erin and Holtz fight back and forth over the two dark blue titles. Erin relaxes as Holtz keeps up an endless stream of banter, her usual inane prattle of science theories, politics, and unsolicited opinions on junk food, nudging Erin every so often. Patty offers sarcastic commentary, drawing laughs out of the other women.

Abby, curiously, isn't saying much, not really committing to the game even though Erin knows she can play like an investment banker when she chooses to. She wants to ask if she's okay, but the way she's staring down into her beer seems to indicate that she's not interested in communicating. 

Erin has nothing useful, except Boardwalk, which is the only thing standing between them and board domination by Holtzmann. Patty manages to collect rent relentlessly, _and_ she's building up a small empire of hotels, placid despite the pounding songs that Holtz's playlist keeps turning over.

"Holtz, is _every_ song on this playlist David Guetta?" Erin asks as she rolls the dice.

" _This_ is Pitbull, actually," Holtz says superiorly. "Grab somebody sexy, tell 'em… Gimme everything tonight… gimme everything tonight…" she hums softly.

Erin closes her eyes, trying to ignore the way _those_ words coming out of _Holtz's_ mouth make her feel. Being drunk, combined with the gentle way Holtz is handling her after her coming out, makes her inconveniently aware of her crush. "Okay, but the last three songs were David Guetta," she says.

Holtz shrugs and laughs in response, struggling upright. Erin wonders how much rum there actually was in the milkshake, because she's looking pretty drunk all of a sudden.

Once she's upright and sitting uncomfortably close to Erin, only increasing Erin's sexual confusion, she says, "This song really _builds_ ," Holtz says, wriggling her shoulders.

Erin tries to keep her cool. She sighs with faux-exasperation, keeping her eyes on Holtz's face rather than her chest, which Erin is _sure_ is jiggling alarmingly, given Holtz's frankly questionable relationship with bras. And, Erin reflects, _probably other forms of underwear too_ … she stops that thought in its tracks before it can go any further and turns her eyes to the ceiling to try and calm down.

"Stop quoting _Pitch Perfect_ , you idiot." Abby's voice breaks the moment between them, and Erin is thoroughly confused now, because Abby's ostensibly light-hearted comment has a real edge to it, an edge that Erin has rarely heard before.

Holtz looks crestfallen for a moment. Erin wraps a protective arm around her. Holtz snuggles easily into her side, like she's done a million times before, and Erin's heart jumps a little bit.

A few seconds later, she has to slap Holtz's hand away as it creeps towards her Boardwalk title. "And what are you planning to do with that?" she asks lightly.

As she speaks, a few strands of Holtz's flyaway hair make their way into her mouth. Holtz blinks slowly up at her, and Erin's eyes flicker over her eyelids and her cheeks and her _very_ kissable mouth, and just as she's thinking that maybe fast-forwarding their flirting to the kissing part might not be the worst thing that's happened, Patty interrupts.

"Can you gimme the wine?"

Erin reluctantly sits up, so Holtz has to move away. She pouts at Erin as Erin slides the Moscato bottle across to Patty.

As Patty pours herself another drink, she catches sight of the clock. "Oh, my god. It's not even eleven," she says. She stands up and stretches. "Bathroom," she says by way of explanation as she exits the room.

This statement reminds Erin of her own bladder, and she also stands up. "Me too," she says.

Patty's in the one closest to the living room, so Erin circles around and uses the bathroom in their industrial shower room. It doesn't take long, and she finishes off by dampening her cheeks with water from the tap. They're permanently flushed from the alcohol, and the cool water brings a touch of relief.

She's not really thinking, not really listening, as she returns to the living room, but the music cuts off abruptly, and she pauses without thinking about it.

"Holtzmann, what's going on?" Abby's voice is soft but distinctive.

"Whatever do you mean?" Holtz replies, and Erin can picture her insufferable smirk as she says it.

"Cut the crap, Jillian," Abby says. "Board games? Drinking? Happy families sleepover? _Something's_ going on."

There's a pregnant silence, and Erin half-expects Holtz to storm out of the room and catch her eavesdropping, but instead, she says something so low that Erin can't hear.

And, oh my god, she's _eavesdropping_ , and she absolutely should not be here, but she can't exactly burst in on them now.

"I'm sorry," Abby says, and Erin hears shuffling like she's getting off the couch. "Oh, Holtz." She sounds gentle and sympathetic, not at all like the clipped tone she used before.

Erin's trying to reconcile this turn of events with the chipper, manic Holtzmann of earlier this evening. Then she realises Abby's right. This whole happy families, board games, schtick… it's out of character. Erin sighs softly. Holtz is always more upbeat, more aggressively creative, desperate to seem fun, when she's depressed.

Just then, the toilet on her right flushes, and she jumps, forcing her feet to carry her towards the living room so that Patty doesn't catch her eavesdropping.

"Just… be careful with this whole Erin thing, okay?" is what she hears just before she nudges the door open with a toe and sits down on the couch.

She's sure she looks awkward, her loosened control from the alcohol making her less able to hide her feelings. Holtz pulls herself up to standing on the couch, her back to Erin, and hits a button on the boombox again.

An upbeat pop song starts playing, one that's fairly frequent on Holtz's lab playlist, and Abby rolls her eyes, getting up from where she was sitting beside Holtz and settling back into her armchair.

The song's chorus starts building, and Erin realises that this is another opportunity for a one-man show. Holtz doesn't get up on any furniture this time, possibly concerned about her capacity for staying upright. "I _love_ ME!" Holtz yells, holding an imaginary mike and bouncing on one foot. "Gonna love myself, no I don't need anyone else!"

For the first time, Erin catches the lyrics' meaning, as Holtz enunciates them and thrusts hard to the beat as she heaves a colossal breath to yell the next verse.

"Holtz-"

"Hey, can help myself, no I don't need anybody else!" Holtz runs right over her.

"Is this about…" Erin stops herself before she can finish the question.

"You can say 'masturbating'," Holtz grins evilly at Erin.

Erin nods, still not saying it, blushing.

"Yep," Holtz says, popping the p, and dropping onto the couch beside her.

"Holtzy, I do _not_ need to hear you talking about masturbating," Patty says, finally returning from the bathroom and claiming her Lazy-Boy.

Holtz shrugs and holds out the dice. "Whose turn is it?"

Abby and Patty shrug in unison. "Just go," Patty says.

Holtz takes her turn, passes the dice on. Erin barters with her for Park Avenue, but she's unsuccessful.

"I'll take off my shirt if you give me Boardwalk," Holtz counteroffers.

Erin rolls her eyes. "Don't act like you're doing me a favour. We all know you're just dying to seduce me with your perfect tits." Patty snorts in the background, but Erin's not really paying attention.

Holtz blinks, cocks her head. "Was that a compliment, an insult, or flirting?"

"All of the above? None of the above?" Erin laughs.

Holtz grins slowly, and it's back again. That feeling on the cliff's edge. Erin looks away from Holtz's intense stare, biting her lip. Holtz leans in a hairsbreadth, and Erin leans forward. Their noses are barely touching, and Erin's still got her eyes wide open, staring at Holtz.

And, oh my god, they're going to kiss. _Finally_. 

Patty claps her hands at them like they're naughty kittens. "We're all still in the room, ladies," she says sarcastically. 

Holtzmann jumps back, and Erin blushes deeply.

Abby is frowning deeply in Patty's direction, and Patty makes a face back at her. Erin pretends not to notice any of this or how Holtz has put more than a foot of space in between them almost instantly.

Abby stands up suddenly, jerking her head at Patty. "I think I'm going to head home for the night. Holtz, do you want a ride?"

Holtz shakes her head almost reflexively. "I'll sleep in the lab."

"Are you sure? I'd like it if you came home with me," Abby says softly.

Holtz doesn't even quip about that, and Erin's once again left trying to figure out what this whole Abby-parenting-Holtz undercurrent is. Holtz shakes her head again, anyway, and Abby nods.

"Call me, okay?" she tells Holtzmann, not even looking at the other two.

Holtz just nods, uncharacteristically quiet.

"Bye, guys," Patty says, waving, obviously confused about why Abby is unsubtly trying to get her to leave.

Erin is still sitting on the floor, slack-jawed, reeling from the abrupt rejection, as Abby opens the front door and she hears her tell Patty, "I'll tell you in the cab."

Erin worries at her lip, feeling like she's done something wrong. Holtz just _leaned in_ and _nearly kissed her_ and Erin's not sure what to do now.

Holtz returns from the kitchen, clattering two shot glasses on the table and then swigging straight from a bottle of tequila. Erin can tell that something's going on, but she still can't figure out _what_. Holtz is acting erratically. Even more so than usual, which is saying something.

"How about it, Gilbert?" Holtz interrupts Erin's train of thoughts with clipped words, tossing herself down on the opposite side of the table. After the hesitant intimacy of before, it feels like a canyon between them.

"I- what?" Erin blinks, non-plussed. Is Holtz referring to the game, the drinking, or the near-kiss?

"You wanna finish this?" Holtz gestures at the game board on the coffee table.

"Oh," Erin says. "Yeah, okay." Given how woozy she's feeling, and Holtz's erratic mood, the smart decision would probably be _not_ to stay and drink more, but to go home, sleep it off, forget anything ever happened.

Holtz eyes her for a second before handing her the dice, brushing her hand lightly. "I'll just put everyone else's back into the bank, if that's okay?"

Erin's _never_ heard her ask for anyone's permission before, about anything. "Yeah," she agrees, looking down. She rolls. She hops her marker along, claims a property. Holtz does the same, and they keep not looking at each other.

It's awkward, and Erin keeps searching for ways to break the silence and coming up short. They all seem too trite, too inarticulate, too stupid.

Finally, she reaches for the bottle of wine and chugs the last two mouthfuls from it. Holtz mimics her with the last shots-worth of tequila.

"Drinking game?" Erin follows that up with. It's not like she could make any more bad decisions. _Right_?

Holtz perks up a little at that prospect. "We're all out, though!" She pouts briefly, then: "Hold on." She hops up and goes to the kitchen.

She takes so long that Erin's about to get up and check that she hasn't passed out or run away when she comes back balancing two tall glasses full of orange liquid.

"Here," she says, using the drinks as an excuse to sit on the couch next to Erin rather than across from her.

"What is it?" Erin asks with a reasonable amount of suspicion, given that it's _Holtzmann_ giving her a glass of unidentified liquid.

"Vodka, mango nectar, sparkling water," she says.

" _Really_?" Erin raises her eyebrows, surprised. That's her favourite drink.

"Your favourite," Holtz says simply.

Erin ducks her head and accepts the glass, smiling. "Holtz-"

"Hey-"

They both speak at the same time and then pause. "Thank you," Erin says simply.

Holtz nods. They sip in silence for a moment before Holtz gets up and puts her glass on the table to gather up her title cards again.

"You wanna keep playing?" Erin says.

Holtz grins at her and rolls the dice. She trots her marker six spaces and buys a property that Patty abandoned.

Erin takes her turn, and once Holtz institutes, "Sip every time you buy a property", and they get around the board two more times, Erin's both _very_ broke and _extremely_ drunk. She'd been tipsy before – a little soberer after her trip to the bathroom – but she's been steadily drowning her sorrows.

She lands on one of Holtz's green properties – it doesn't have a hotel, yet, but it's got three houses and she certainly doesn't have that much money.

She bites her lip as she counts up the properties she'd have to mortgage. She'd still be $50 short and have to sell a house. "Okay," she says breathily, staring Holtz in the eyes as she removes her jumper. Holtz stares blankly back.

"$500, please," Erin says, sultry-like.

"Oh," Holtz says, shaking her head. "Yeah." She pulls out the dark orange note and hands it to Erin, who immediately hands it back.

This pattern continues – Erin owns a handful of lower-value families with hotels, and Holtz is slowly building up the red and green properties. Holtz has a slight edge, and soon Erin is wriggling out of her plaid shirt.

"Are you wearing an undershirt?" Holtz snorts dramatically.

"Lucky for me. It's an extra five hundie," Erin says.

"Oh _god_ , don't _say_ that," Holtz says. Erin shrugs and laughs, taking another sip of mango cocktail, which she snorts out through her nose as she laughs at the lyrics playing through the stereo.

"I'm sorry, _what_?" she splutters.

"It's better with the video," Holtz explains.

"How could 'You were my porn in 1993' possibly be _better_ with a video?" Erin sighs, rolls her eyes, and takes her turn, ticking her marker around the board. She manages to land on three of Holtz's hotelled properties in a row. First, she sacrifices her socks, but that only covers one of them. For the second one, she sells a property and then takes off her undershirt.

She allows herself a brief smile to herself as she pulls it over her head, and she's not disappointed when she tosses it on the couch. Holtz is staring at her, open-mouthed, eyes flickering down to Erin's chest and then back up to Erin's smirk.

She's lucky she wore her favourite bra this morning, because she's tired of feeling like she can't make the first move. She's tired of _everything_ to do with Holtzmann that isn't _kissing_ her.

"You can have $1000 for that," Holtz says breathily. She reaches out to hand Erin the notes, and their hands brush, and then Erin leans in a little bit, and then they're kissing.

Holtz drops the notes on the floor, clambering over the table, knocking the pieces clean off the board, and pushes Erin up against the couch. She kisses Erin's mouth first, then starts making her way down Erin's neck. 

Erin clumsily grips the back of Holtz's head, knitting her fingers into Holtz's messy bun and tugging gently. The throaty groan that Holtz lets out at the contact startles both of them. They pull away from each other a tiny bit and stare at each other for a moment.

"Sorry," Holtz whispers. "It's- um, you're just-"

Erin shakes her head and leans up to kiss Holtz again. "It's okay. You've been making me feel a bit like that all night."

Holtz's eyes widen in shock, or maybe arousal, and then she starts kissing Erin again.

Erin's surprised at how quickly it happens.

They're just kissing, and then they're on the couch, Holtz on top of her, grinding onto her, grazing Erin's neck with her teeth. It's really hot, and Erin's _really_ into it, until suddenly she's not.

All the alcohol hits her at once and her limbs go heavy, and she tilts her head away from Holtz.

Holtz reads her reluctance immediately and stops grinding. "You want to stop?"

Erin sighs and nods.

"I'm sorry." She pushes herself off Erin in a surprisingly fluid motion for someone that drunk. "Abby was right, we shouldn't do this."

"No, I just… I feel kind of foggy and sick," Erin explains, then her foggy brain catches up. "Abby said _what now_?"

"It's just- Oh, jesus," Holtz says. "I, uh." She runs a hand through her hair briefly.

"Have an STD?" Erin supplies sarcastically.

Holtz lets out a bark of laughter, running a hand through her hair again. "No, I… well, maybe, honestly, I don't know. The point is. I, uh, got dumped."

Erin raises her eyebrows. "You… were dating someone?"

"In a manner of speaking. There may have been some miscommunication about the exact nature of our relationship." Holtz shuffles her feet awkwardly.

"Oh, Holtz," Erin sighs, and she understands Abby's tone of voice from before. "Come here." She leans back against the couch and beckons Holtz to hug her. Holtzmann does so, tucking her head under Erin's chin, breathing softly against her chest.

"What… was the nature of the miscommunication?" Erin ventures. She's not sure whether it would be better for Holtz to be the one leading on or getting led on.

"She, uh, thought we were more serious than we were," Holtz answers.

"Oh." Erin's _definitely_ relieved about that. _Interesting_.

"It's not a big deal," she says.

"Okay," Erin agrees.

"Wanna make out?" Holtz sticks her head up, eyes hopeful.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Erin is starting to regret the quantity and variety of alcohol she's imbibed throughout the evening.

"I'm not rebounding!" Holtz protests.

"No, it's not that." Erin holds up a hand, shoving Holtz off her unceremoniously. "Yup, okay. I'm gonna go throw up," she says, getting up unsteadily.

"Oh." Holtz gets out of the way real fast.

It's not that bad. Afterwards, she feels a lot better. She brushes her teeth before she goes back, but when she reaches the couch, Holtz is passed out the couch, drooling on the cushions. Erin smiles down at her, then tosses one of the blankets over her body. She wriggles the blanket over her shoulders and smiles a little bit before settling down.

Erin tilts Abby's chair back into an approximation of horizontal and curls up on her side. The last thing she sees before she closes her eyes is Holtz smiling at her in her sleep.

"Morning, sleepyheads," is what Erin wakes up to. Patty is smirking at her, holding her iPhone up like she just snapped a picture. Erin groans, putting a hand to eyes to shield herself from the light.

"It's Saturday," she says stupidly.

"Mmm," Patty says. Holtzmann is sitting up on the couch, looking a tad worse for wear. "I just had to see how this turned out."

Holtz groans. "Hungover. So hungover."

Erin nods, seconding that.

"Since you seem to be functioning fine, could you get me some water, Pattycakes?" Holtz says.

Patty rolls her eyes, then goes to the kitchen.

"Hey," Erin whispers.

"Hey," Holtz says back. Erin smiles. She can't help it.

"Do you remember last night?" she blurts out.

Holtz nods. "Do you?"

Erin nods in turn.

"Oh."

"Here you go," Patty barges in with two glasses of water and a handful of Advil, which she distributes to the both of them.

"Thank you," Erin says, chugging the water.

"So we've established that you remember what happened last night." Patty grins. "Spill the beans."

Holtz looks at Erin nervously. Erin's not sure where they're at with the _telling-Abby-and-Patty-we-kissed_ situation.

"I-" Holtz bites her lip.

"Nothing," Erin says quickly. "We just played Monopoly for a while, then I, uh, threw up, and when I came back, Holtz was asleep. I must've passed out too."

A look of hurt flashes across Holtz's face, but it's gone in a second when Patty looks her way suspiciously.

"We left y'all here making eyes at each other and _nothing_ happened?" she demands.

"Not _nothing_ ," Erin protests weakly. "We played Monopoly."

"Oh, yeah?" Patty raises an eyebrow. "Who won?"

"Erin _said_ , I passed out," Holtz says shortly, getting to her feet. Erin's impressed at how steady she seems as she brushes roughly past Patty and goes up the stairs.

Patty stares up at the ceiling at the distinctive sound of Holtz's lab stool being dragged across the tiled floor.

Erin closes her eyes, rubbing her forehead. She's obviously misstepped, and she's got a splitting headache, and her stomach is somehow still churning.

"I'm… I'm gonna go," Patty says. "I'm sorry," she says to Erin, looking unusually chastened.

"Okay," Erin says numbly, looking up at her with a look that she's sure isn't convincing Patty that what happened last night was 'nothing'.

Patty doesn't push the issue, just puts her hand on Erin's shoulder briefly and then leaves. Erin puts her head in her hands and groans.

She doesn't even begin to know how to navigate this.

"Holtz?" Erin leans in the lab doorway, unsure if she should encroach on Holtz's turf after the scene downstairs. She can't see her. "Holtzmann?"

She sighs and enters the room, running her hands through her hair nervously.

She does a quick scan of the room, careful to look in the little nooks and crannies where she knows Holtz will retreat to and "work" when she's upset. No dice.

The roof. Of course.

She climbs the stairs slowly, knowing that if she gets even slightly out of breath, she's going to hurl again.

Holtz is leaning over the railing, staring at the city.

"Holtz?" Erin says softly. She can see Holtz's shoulders tense up, then she huffs out a sigh, her shoulders dropping again. "Hey." She settles herself on the railing next to Holtz and looks out over the city too, perfectly aware that Holtz will clam up if they make eye contact.

"It's okay," Holtz says quietly. "We can pretend nothing happened. It was a mistake."

All the air leaves Erin's body. Of all the things she expected Holtz to say, _It was a mistake_ was one of the scariest.

"Is that what you really want?"

Holtz swallows audibly but doesn't say anything. Time seems to stretch out. Erin's heart is hitting her breastbone with a thump-thump that she wishes would stop.

Holtz twists her hands together, hesitant, shy. Then she's kissing Erin, pushing her up against the railing, body warm against the thin fabric of Erin's t-shirt, hand twining in her hair.

Erin gasps, enjoying the light tugging more than she should, then Holtz pulls back a tad. She leans her forehead on Erin's and says, "No. I want you." She huffs out a little, half-smiling, and Erin winces.

"Oh, Jesus," she laughs. "You have serious morning breath."

Holtz snorts at that, taking a step back. "You, too," she says, not moving any further away. "I'm seriously hungover." She presses her lips together like they're dry.

"Me too," Erin admits.

"I'd like to… do that more, though," Holtz says, ducking her head, running a hand through the messy curls. 

Erin nods. "Me too," she repeats. There's a beat between them, Erin staring into Holtz's face, marking the little flecks of mascara flaking down her cheeks, the prominent mole on her right cheek, the smudges of lipstick on her chin. Erin swallows, trying to concentrate on things other than jumping Holtz's bones right here, right now. "Let's go… shower and clean up the kitchen though."

"Okay," Holtz agrees. She leans in, pressing one brief kiss to Erin's mouth before she bounces cheerily down the stairs.

"Patty's gonna be pissed," Erin says when she sees the puddle of Moscato dripping from Patty's Lazy-Boy onto the carpet.

"Good thing she didn't see it when she was here," Holtz says, bringing a dishtowel from the kitchen and dropping it on the wet carpet.

"I'm sorry about that," Erin says, righting the wine glass and gathering up the various beer bottles and the Moscato bottle to put in the recycling.

"It's… you did the right thing," Holtz says.

"I upset you." It's not a question. Erin busies herself rinsing each beer bottle and setting it on the dishrack to dry. She can see Holtzmann biting her tongue about the pedantic habit in her peripheral vision.

"I thought you… regretted last night." Holtz sounds unexpectedly shy.

"I mean…" Erin rolls her eyes. "I regret coming out like that. I regret getting that drunk. I regret getting so drunk that I couldn't properly enjoy our first kiss. I don't regret _us_." She realises that that's a bit presumptuous. "I mean…"

Holtz stills Erin with a touch to her lower back. "I like the sound of _us_."

"Okay," Erin sighs, bending into the touch, feeling her shoulders relax a little. Holtz's hand rests there for a beat before she hesitantly leans her chin on Erin's shoulder. Erin turns her head ever so slightly and presses her lips to Holtz's hair for an instant.

They make their way upstairs, brush their teeth together, catching each other's eye and giggling. Then they curl up together on the couch, put on old episodes of Doctor Who, and just stay.

This is as comfortable as it's always been with Holtz, Erin thinks. They don't really need to talk more about it. They're there for each other like they've always been, laughing at the same jokes, putting on the same TV show, ordering the same half-and-half pizza they always do. The only difference is that now Erin can just reach down and hold Holtz's hand, any time she likes. So she does. And Holtz tilts her head up and smiles, kisses the back of her hand, and then turns her attention back to _The Rebel Flesh_.

It's been a week since their ill-fated night of drinking games, and Abby is getting tired of this. It's obvious something happened between them – Patty FaceTimed her immediately after leaving the firehouse on Saturday. They agreed a standing wager on who would crack first – ten dollars a day on Erin for Abby; ten on Holtz for Patty.

"Do you have something you'd like to share with the class, Erin?" Abby says pointedly. It's the fourth time in as many minutes that Erin has touched Holtz's shoulder while they're working shoulder-to-shoulder.

Holtz is the one who touches Erin this time. She reaches down and interlaces their fingers.

"Ready?" she says quietly. A gap opens up under Erin's chest for a moment. Then she inhales deeply and nods.

"We're dating."

**Author's Note:**

> I swear this is the last thing I'm going to write for this fandom????  
> (That's probably a lie I have another fic open RIGHT now to work on)   
> The tracklist of the playlist I made and listened to while writing this is as follows (tracks actually mentioned in the fic are starred).   
> No I do not take constructive criticism on my trashy music taste lol.
> 
> *Where Them Girls At (feat. Nicki Minaj) - David Guetta  
> Good Girls Go Bad (feat. Leighton Meester) - Cobra Starship  
> *Give Me Everything (feat. Ne-Yo, Afrojack, & Nayer) - Pitbull  
> Talk Dirty (feat. 2 Chainz) - Jason Derulo  
> Stacy's Mom - Fountains of Wayne  
> It Wasn't Me - Shaggy, Rik Rok  
> Timber (feat. Ke$ha) - Pitbull  
> Everytime We Touch - Radio Edit - Cascada  
> Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F) - Katy Perry  
> Baby - Justin Bieber, Ludacris  
> Side to Side - Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj  
> Wannabe - Spice Girls  
> *I Just Had Sex - The Lonely Island, Akon  
> *DONTTRUSTME - 3OH!3  
> *First Got Horny 2 U - Saturday Night Live Cast  
> Play Hard (feat. Ne-Yo and Akon) - David Guetta  
> California Girls - Katy Perry, Snoop Dogg  
> (Do It On My) Twin Bed - Saturday Night Live Cast  
> I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry  
> Boss Bitch - Doja Cat  
> Boys Like You - Who Is Fancy, Meghan Trainor, Ariana Grande  
> Problem - Natalia Kills  
> Trouble - Chris Rene  
> Sex - The 1975  
> Girls - The 1975


End file.
